The Sanctuary: The Vampire's Secret Page 2

  I felt the heat of his gaze trailing me as I walked away, the urge to turn around and smile at him one more time, to take a second to commit the details of his face to memory, was way too strong to resist.

  I turned, our eyes crashing together once more in a fiery collision.

  It’d been a good long while since I’d allowed myself to feel that kind of pleasure — it was too wrong, too dangerous — but damn, did it feel good right now.

  The rush of blood, the flutter in my belly, the searing heat, deep in the center of my soul…

  A tiny slice, a minuscule sliver of pleasure, that’s all I would allow.

  One drink.

  One taste of normalcy.

  Then I would turn back to the loneliness, for his safety, and mine.

  I waved goodbye to Leo and turned away again, walking back to my house with its perfect tree-lined porch, its lonely comfort and the safety of the isolation it provided.

  Agreeing to a drink with Leo was just an opportunity to add to my memories. Nothing more, nothing less.

  I could follow the rules and enjoy life at the same time, just like everyone else…

  That night, lying in my bed after a grueling shift at the hospital, as I drifted off to sleep, the darkness around me was replaced with Leo’s handsome face. It was a welcome haunting, if there ever was one.

  TWO

  LEO

  “I’m outta here, Captain,” I said, poking my head into the office of Captain Andrew McGee of the Portland Fire and Rescue Station, Number 14. He’s the most stand-up guy I know and if my life ends up anything like his, then I’ll die a happy man. My Captain and friend for the last five years, he’s taught me everything I know about fighting fires.

  “Leaving early today?” he asked, lifting his bald head up from his paperwork, peering up at me with his steely grey eyes. “You didn’t even have dinner yet.”

  “I’ve got a date!” I announced, proudly.

  “No shit?” he asked, lifting an eyebrow. “Where’d you find someone crazy enough to go out with your ugly mug?”

  “Bessie found her,” I laughed, thinking back to yesterday. I’d made sure to give her a few extra pieces of steak after her performance at the park. “I’ll let you know how it goes.”

  “Alright, well, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” he quipped, as I walked away. “You kids these days…”

  “I’m hardly a kid anymore,” I replied, over my shoulder. “I think I can handle anything that happens, Captain.”

  “We’ll see about that. See ya tomorrow, kid,” he said.

  “Yeah, yeah,” I shook my head, as I walked out to my truck and threw my duffel bag into the back. Driving home, all I could think about was Addy’s smile. It’d been the same thing all day. And all night last night, too, after Bessie and I returned home from our walk.

  I was a grown-ass man, but meeting her had left my palms sweating like a schoolboy with his first crush.

  We had chemistry.

  Like a fire, it doesn’t ignite without the three essential elements in play. You can have oxygen and fuel, but without the heat, there’s no flame.

  I guess I never found the heat.

  When I saw Addy yesterday something inside of me ignited. By the time she’d gotten to her feet and flashed that sweet smile my way, my insides had turned into a raging inferno that I knew I’d never be able to extinguish.

  It felt good. It felt right.

  And I owed it all to Bessie, the dog that hated everybody she came into contact with.

  I had dinner at home and fed Bessie part of my steak before hopping back in the truck to pick up Addy. I ignored the nervousness bubbling up inside of me and vowed to just take things slowly, get to know her and have fun.

  When she opened the door of her home, just a few short blocks from my own, I couldn’t help but smile when I saw her, that flame igniting inside of me again.

  Her long black hair cascaded down her back in loose waves. She was petite and fit, her tiny, compact body a stark contrast to my own tall, burly frame. She wore a long, flowing green dress, the bodice clinging tightly before flaring out and twirling around her legs, with simple black flats. When she turned her soft baby blue eyes up at me, I couldn’t help but stare. She was quite possibly the most stunning woman I’d ever seen, but there was something else about her. Something in those eyes that oozed wisdom and peace.

  Instantly, I felt calm and happy just to be in her presence, as if her very soul was comforting. As long as I ignored those flames threatening to burn me alive.

  “Leo, hi!” she said, flinging open the door and inviting me in. I stepped through the threshold as she stepped to the side. Her living room was tastefully decorated in gorgeous antiques and low, comfortable looking couches. A little dark for my taste, but the white lilies lovingly arranged in a vase brightened the mantle and I smiled when I saw them because they’re Ma’s favorite flower.

  “Lovely place,” I said, turning back to her. She was gathering her phone and keys and putting them in her purse. Quackers danced around my feet and I reached down and scratched his ears. His back leg started shaking, thumping on the hardwood floor.

  “Thank you,” she said. “I like it, although I don’t get to spend nearly enough time here. I’m always at the hospital. I can’t believe I actually have the night off, well, unless they call me in, which is always a possibility…”

  “I’m glad it worked out.”

  “Me, too,” she beamed. “We wouldn’t want to disappoint Bessie.”

  “No,” I shook my head with a smile. “In fact, once she found out where I was going, it took all my strength to get past her and get out the front door without her.”

  Her laughter was delightful, a mixture of birdsong and pure joy. I could listen to it all day, I realized.

  “Should we go?” she asked.

  “Of course,” I replied.

  We said goodbye to Quackers and locked up before walking out to my truck. I opened her door before running around and sliding behind the wheel. I felt her eyes on me as I negotiated the streets, driving slowly to a neighborhood pub around the corner. By the time we’d ordered a few beers and found a booth to settle in, she’d already grilled me a little.

  “So you were born and raised here?” she asked.

  “Sure was,” I replied. “My Ma still lives here, too. Has a little bungalow in Multnomah Village.”

  “That’s nice, I take it you two are close?”

  “Very,” I said. “I have dinner with her every Sunday and visit her a few times a week, just to make sure she's got everything she needs. She’s got arthritis and lives alone, it’s not always easy for her, but she insists on being independent. I’ve been trying to get her in a home since Dad died two years ago, but she refuses.”

  “Ah, yes, parents can be like that,” she said. “Good thing she has you.”

  “I suppose,” I said. “What about you? Did you grow up here too?”

  “No, mostly on the East Coast. My parents are long gone now,” she said.

  “Sorry to hear that,” she said. “Do you have other family?”

  “No, I don’t. It’s just me now. But it suits me just fine. It’s better that way.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  A haunted look darkened her eyes before she answered.

  “I work a lot, that’s all,” she said.

  “Ah, me too,” I said. “Probably not as much as you, though.”

  “What do you do?”

  “I’ve been a firefighter for the last five years,” I said, unable to mask the pride in my voice. I loved my job and not a day went by that I wasn’t proud of what I did.

  “That’s amazing!” she said, her eyes lighting up with approval. She was so fucking beautiful, it was impossible to look anywhere else.

  “Thanks, I love it,” I said. “It can be grueling work, and dangerous sometimes, but those days I get to pluck a kitten out of a tree are worth it,” I said, with a wink.

  It worked. I wanted to hear that laughter again and there it was, filling my ears pleasantly.

  We sat there, quietly drinking our beers and chatting, coloring in our life stories. Mine was boring as hell, and she was way too vague with her answers, unless she was talking about her job, but that was okay. Some people take longer than others to open up, and I knew that.

  Considering I could stare at her for an eternity, I didn’t mind if it took a little more time for her to open up to me.

  For a woman like Addy, I had forever…

  THREE

  ADDY

  I couldn’t stop looking at his forearms.

  The ropey muscles flexed each time he lifted his beer bottle to his full lips. I resisted the urge to lick my own lips, not to mention the urge to lick that flexing forearm of his, and tried to concentrate on his words.

  Devoted son. Firefighter. Native Oregonian.

  Got it.

  But the heat pouring out of his eyes when he looked at me seemed to be seeping into my skin, soaking in deep and making it very difficult to concentrate on the conversation.

  I was hungry and he looked delicious.

  I couldn’t help but imagine what he’d taste like. Of course, I’d never find out because I followed the rules… but it didn’t hurt to fantasize. I could imagine the ruby nectar flowing through his veins, the very veins that pulsed with life. They were prominently taunting me along his neck each time he laughed or turned his head.

  I remembered now why I never did this. The temptation was unbearable.

  Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it was too much after all.

  Had I put him in danger?

  I took a deep breath, reining in my overwhelming urges.

  Pretend he’s a patient, I thought to myself. It’ll be easy. Put up t
he usual walls.

  But damned if he didn’t keep looking at me with those teasing green eyes through a curtain of darkly fringed lashes, barreling right through any walls I hoped to erect between us.

  I liked him. He was easy-going and down to Earth; much more so than the arrogant doctors I was used to spending my time with.

  And he was good. It was so obvious that there wasn’t a bad bone in his body. It was rare to find a man like that. I’d lucked out that day at the park.

  But it didn’t matter.

  This was over before it started. This was just for tonight, and then I’d never see him again.

  We were here now, and I wasn’t about to be rude to such a sweet guy. I forced myself to dig up the discipline to stay in the moment and stop fantasizing about sinking my fangs into him.

  “…it was a tiny hole, but apparently they fixed it.”

  “I’m sorry, what was that?” I asked, sheepishly, when I realized I’d tuned him out.

  “My heart. You said you were a heart surgeon? Ventricular septal defect? VSD. I was born with a hole in my heart. They said it was the size of a quarter. I had open heart surgery when I was four days old and another surgery when I was ten.”

  “Oh, I see,” I said. “I’m glad it wasn’t more serious.”

  “Me, too. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to pass my firefighter physical, but I trained hard for it. I’m just glad the Captain gave me a chance.”

  “Have you had any issues with your heart as an adult?”

  “Not a one,” he said, knocking on the wooden table in front of him with his fist.

  “You know, there was a recent study that found that a common genetic variation near a gene called Msx1 was strongly associated with the risk of VSD.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Yes,” I said, thankful for something to talk about that was completely unsexy. I needed the distraction before I lunged at him across the table. “I’m glad to hear you’re doing well now. Fighting fires is dangerous work…”

  “I’ve heard.”

  “The constant interrupted sleep is hell on a heart. The stress, not to mention the wear and tear on your lungs…”

  “I’m aware. I take very good care of myself. I eat right, exercise daily, get regular check-ups and blood work. So far, so good,” he said.

  “Excellent, keep it up,” I said.

  “Will do, doc,” he said, winking at me and flashing me a sexy smile.

  “Would you like to get out of here?” he asked, suddenly.

  We’d been talking for hours and I wasn’t ready for the date to end, but I knew if my defenses took much more of a hit, we were wading into dangerous territory.

  “I should probably get home,” I said.

  “Home? Are you kidding? The night is young,” he said. “I was hoping we could go for a walk up through the rose gardens.”

  “Oh? I love it up there,” I said, biting my lip as I contemplated how much more of this game I could take.

  “Everything’s in bloom right now,” he replied, flashing me another tempting smile. “And the view of the city is spectacular at night.”

  “Okay,” I said, ignoring the warning bells going off in my head. “Why not?”

  “Excellent!” he said, smiling like a schoolboy who’d gotten his way. His charm was increasingly irresistible and I felt all my inhibitions slowly melting away.

  Follow the rules, follow the rules, the voice in my head chanted.

  I wasn’t exactly breaking the rules by having drinks with him, or going for a walk. As long as I didn’t break skin, I wasn’t breaking any rules.

  I could do this.

  By the time we arrived at the International Rose Test Gardens at the top of the West Hills and found a parking spot, the chemistry between us was exploding. I’d never had sparks fly so quickly or so strongly.

  We strolled through the fragrant blooms, stopping along the way to inhale their sweet perfume and admire the full moon hanging heavy and bright in the dark sky above us. I felt its familiar pull, gnawing at something deep and primal inside of me. When Leo reached over and grabbed my hand, interlacing his fingers in mine, that feeling wove itself even deeper into my chest, taking my breath away.

  I paused in the moonlight, letting it bathe over me as I drew in a slow, deep breath, using all my power to restrain the beast inside of me.

  “You are absolutely stunning in the moonlight,” Leo’s whisper caressing my ear was enough to make me nearly jump out of my skin. “Your hair sparkles and your eyes…they’re almost haunting the way they reflect the moon.”

  I turned to him and swallowed hard. His eyes were full of raw lust, hypnotizing me, paralyzing me. He reached up, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, and I shivered defensively.

  But he didn’t know.

  Normal people didn't know about that spot.

  I was safe.

  His fingers trailed away from my hair and down my chin, lifting it as he bent his head. His lips were so soft, so warm, so inviting. I opened my mouth, letting him in, letting myself feel his pulse on my tongue.

  The urge was getting stronger, the beast rattling her cage inside me with a wild cry, but I pushed it away, just for a little bit longer.

  His kiss was urgent and hungry. He hadn’t asked, and it was such a nice contrast to the gentleness he’d displayed all evening, that I damn near swooned. His arms wrapped around me, engulfing me tightly as he kissed me deeply.

  I repressed a growl, my fangs skimming the skin of his lips, the soft flesh of his tongue, the urge to go further turning to a scream of desperation inside of me.

  I pulled away and turned around, gasping for air and space. His eyes seared my back, but I ignored his silent questions. I hated to be that woman — the ‘hot one second and cold the next’ kind of woman — but I had to be.

  For his sake.

  I took a glance over my shoulder and saw just what I knew I would.

  Confusion.

  A million questions that I’d never be able to give him answers to.

  There was no explaining this life, especially not to someone so damned good. He could never comprehend it.

  He deserved better than I could ever give him.

  He deserved a good woman that could provide everything that normal people did. A wife, children, a nice, normal home to come home to for a few decades before one of them died.

  I could never give him that. I was a monster, cursed to an eternally twisted existence…

  Most of us didn’t even bother to play these kinds of games. They stuck together, socializing, marrying, fucking each other. It was easier when everyone understood the limitations.

  But I had no interest in the others. They didn’t smell the same… not like this. They didn’t taste the way I knew he would taste. They didn’t make a thrill of pleasure run up my spine, and they didn’t love the way I knew Leo could. There was no innocence among us. No gentle kindness.

  “I’m so sorry if I overstepped,” he said, walking up next to me and touching my shoulder gently.

  Dammit. I felt like an ass.

  “No, Leo, it’s not you, I’m sorry,” I said, shaking my head. The last thing I wanted was for him to blame himself.

  He was fucking perfect.

  I was the hot mess.

  “You sure?” he asked, tilting his head as he looked down at me, a loose wave of dark hair falling sexily over one eye. I looked up at him, lost in the way he made me feel.

  “I’m sure,” I said, mustering a small smile.

  “In that case,” he said, bending his head again and kissing me once more, his lips a gentle brush across mine at first before growing more insistent, the passion between us igniting in a flash.

  I kissed him back, hard, my hands wrapping around his huge biceps and pulling him close.

  Throwing all good sense and caution to the wind, I gave up, opening my mouth and allowing myself to feel like a normal person, just for a few moments. If I was never going to see him again, so why not enjoy it fully? I deserved this.

  He pulled his face away, holding me close, undeniably tempting me even further.

  “I’m usually the guy who takes things slow,” he said.

  “Not tonight,” I whispered, my voice husky and low in the darkness. We began walking again, his hand tightly holding mine. Stopping at the edge of a cliff, we gazed down at the city lights sparkling below us.